Do you see now why they’re so protective?

Lately, I haven’t been well. It’s been tough for me, everything’s so new. I lost all my vantage points.

I got the results yesterday, and the doctors said they were conclusive. It’s malign. Somehow I don’t believe them. I’m regaining strength and confidence. I assure you. Today, I love myself, my body. I owe that in part to you. You initiated me to certain things I wasn’t aware of. I want to thank you for that. My trust in you is boundless.

I’m not ashamed anymore of my desire, my animality. I long for you. I’m a she-wolf, and I want to rove with you in the prairie. But there’s got to be a herd around us. Otherwise it would be meaningless. We wouldn’t last long. Women between 30 and 35 are ripe for children. My female body, my female wisdom urge me to give birth to a child. I want you to know this fact and give it the attention it deserves. I don’t want to put any pressure on you. I’m confident that someday, you’ll feel ready.

It’s summer now, and it’s easy to wake up in the morning. The sun is shining, and the body stretches smoothly. Nicotine and coffee help us during the day, music and wine during the night, but I fear wintertime. Those long and dark days. How will the stove comfort us then?

L."

I had breakfast in the kitchen. Mrs. Recker came in with some papers, said it was a contract, asked me to read and sign later. Then she asked me to follow her and took me to a room in the rear, a place I hadn’t visited the day before. A middle-aged man sat behind a desk. "Doctor Kustel", she said before retiring.

The doctor was a big man with a beard and spectacles.

"Please take a seat."

His voice didn’t fit his looks, it was way too pitched for his size. He asked me about you and about what I had done to you. I answered his questions calmly. I told him the truth. After I had told him the facts, he asked me the reasons. The why was much harder to explain. There was no single truth. There were many of them, and each one defied the others. I told him I couldn’t find a reason, that it was too early to answer that question.